Director: So it’s a different movie, and different story line.
Nigerian Actor: Okay
Director: But you know that guy you played in 2007? That angry Chief?
Nigerian Actor: Yes.
Director: We want you to do exactly the same things you did then here.That, my good friends, is the sort of conversation that happens all over Nigeria in Nollywood sets everyday.
Well,
they better be. It has come to my attention that certain actors have
basically been playing the same character for the whole of their career.
Sure, the names change, and so do the sets, sometimes the story lines
change too, but if you’re honest you’ll just know that it’s the same
guy they’re portraying. It just seems that every time you stumble upon a
Nigerian film, you’ll see these particular people doing the same
things.
TOP TEN NIGERIAN ACTORS WHO ARE THE SAME GUY IN EVERY MOVIE.
MR IBU
It
should go without saying that Mr Ibu is Mr Ibu in every movie.
Sometimes he’s a teacher, a priest, a lazy good for nothing lout lazying
around doing nothing good, but every character revolves around the
person of Mr Ibu. Which basically consists of him figuring out the most
annoying things to do and say and then doing and saying them.
The
most annoying thing is I’m sure Mr Ibu’s real name is not Mr Ibu. That
just shows you the lengths he’ll go in order to annoy anyone. I think in
real life he acts as Mr Ibu. And Mr Ibu gets hired to act as other
people in movies.
Click here to see why he’s also one of
Top Ten Worst Nigerians Ever.
AKI AND PAWPAW as AKI AND PAWPAW
When
it comes to being the same guys in every movie, it almost doesn’t get
better that these two guys. Look, pick any single film involving both of
them together, ANY FILM I say, and I can give you an accurate
description of what they’ll be doing. 1) They will be related. And if
they aren’t , they’ll be in cahoots. 2) They’ll be in the Village. 3)
They will neither be heroes nor villains, just funny guys doing funny
things to funny people. They will also be speaking in those mildly
grating high pitched tones we’ve all grown to love.
HANK: THE BAD BOY WITH INEXPLICABLE FOREIGN ACCENTHank
always is and will be the Bad Guy With A Foreign Accent. The movie can
begin in some village consisting of 3 huts and one Babalawo. When you
see some tall, hunky looking fellow speaking in a close lipped American
accent- and doing this despite never having been outside Nigeria as far
as the plot is concerned- just know it’s Hanks.
This is an aside,
but let me say I have noticed the fellow has a penchant for getting
involved in ridiculous storylines. There’s one I could tell you guys
about, but quite frankly, I’m not sure you would believe me.
UKWA: IGNORANT GUY FROM THE VILLAGE
You
know this guy as Ukwa or Usoufia, names he’s received from eponymous
movies. He’s just the jolly ignorant guy from the village basically.
Every single time.
PATIENCE UZOKWOR: EVERYBODY’S WICKED STEP MOTHER
Patience
Uzoku has been everybody’s wicked stepmother for as long as we can
remember. She’s been everybody on this list’s step mother. Even if the
movie release poster shows her all dressed up in nun’s clothes and
holding a Nobel prize, you just know that as soon as you start watching
the movie, she will be wickeding someone’s step child. The plot might
call for her to be a scientific heroine discovering the cure to cancer,
but you just know that in her spare time, she’ll find a waytobe mean to
some unfortunate bloke or lass.
Why evils?
PETE EDOCHIE, MAN OF WISDOM
It’s
a bird. No, it’s a plane. No, it’s Pete Edochie saying another proverb.
Pete Edochie is full of it. Proverbs, I mean. He has one for every
situation. If a knew Chief needs to be elected: “The Elders have a
saying,”The head of the yam… must also go into the pot.”"
Or say
his daughter’s about to wed, watch him pull her fiance to the side and
go, “The rooster that crows too early….should be aware that the
butcher’s knife is coming.”
Or say, he just came down to the
kitchen for a midnight snack, opened the fridge and discovered there’s
no peanut butter. He’ll be like, “Amadioha knows that the jar…is neither
half full…nor half empty.”
JIM IYKE: YOUR QUINTESSENTIAL BAD BOY
Jim
Iyke is just the Bad Guy. You watch a thousand movies of him being the
same tough, hard hitting, frowning guy, and you wonder why. Then you
bump into him and the hard truth hits you: He isn’t acting.
OLU JACOBS: THE CONGENIAL AVUNCULAR CHAP
Here’s
the congenial avuncular chap, if there ever was one. I dare anyone to
show me a movie in which he was not being someone’s uncle and dispensing
advice from beneath his mustache. There’s this one movie where he’s the
girl’s father, but it takes you a while to figure that out because he’s
acting like her uncle.